Again I'm returning to my old pattern of journaling intimately. Now a student in college, married and pursuing all the dreams I said I would. That in itself is a reason to praise. In a generation that suffers from lack of vision, I stand firm on the solid rock of Christ who gave me identity in exchange for my life. That sure puts everything into perspective. My complaints are minute. Amongst the hustle and bustle of marriage, I've realized that the female does have great deal of 'dying to self'. Surely, it's both ways, but on the other hand, he's not the one losing his name. I'm convinced, marriage is created to make us more Christ-like . . .
      Sitting on the couch blubbering like a fool, I was. Tired of western culture and all its complications, frustrated with Algebra, feeling cooped up in the home like a "good little wife", making home cooked meals for Andrew. Not even married two months, I find myself saying, if I have to do this forever I'm going to pop. Suddenly, I was reminded of an elder who told me long before I even knew myself. "Amethyst, even if you wanted to, you could never just live a normal life, you'd be bored out of your mind!" I agreed out loud, I am bored out of my mind.
       That was when the voice of the Lord reminded me, 'discipline is remembering what you wanted'. I may not be traveling the world right now and I may not be talking to heads of state right now but I'm doing something just as important. The discipline of study. The discipline of knowing my husband. It's the root of lasting effective ministry. When I pour over a First Steps in French book; I do it because of vision, when I organize a database full of contacts; I do it because of vision. Just as importantly, when I sear butter-basted tilapia and steam coconut rice; I do it because I have vision.
        I understand that because Andrew is on the frontlines, developing campaigns and in meetings with elders of the faith; I'm just as much there too. The frontlines start on the floor in my prayer closet and flow into practicalities that bring about the 'big picture'.
       Being married, it's easy to get sucked up into the vacuum of what your man wants to do and how he wants to do it. It's easy to stop visioneering, after all, he's the visionary. That's not acceptable, if God made us a unit, than Andrew's plans aren't complete without my ideas and support.  It's so important for a lady not to lose her vision in a marriage. A coin needs to sides to be whole.
          That was when I chipped away at revisiting vision all over again, now that it's done, I'm fully charged and ready to jump. Andrew and I, we're like a double-edged sword sharp with vision. My prayer is that you would be the accompaniment to it, the strength and the life to these dreams. . . Matthew 11:12 from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force.

Kaylyn Dehn
2/25/2009

hey there. I just wanted to tell you your most recent journal post was very encouraging to me. thank you.

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